Mrs. Geronimo

Things haven't been the same since my sister went back in time and married Geronimo.

She sleeps in a teepee.

She wears moccasins and buckskin dresses.

She hunts squirrels with a bow.

We used to sit around and watch TV, but not anymore.

She hates Westerns.

She hates love stories.

She won't even watch Indians' games now.

I knew there was something wrong when I found my time machine set to 1873.

Who the hell would want to go back to 1873?

My sister, as it turns out.

I was pretty angry at first.

How dare she use my time machine without asking.

She could have ended up trapped in the past.

Well, I guess in a way she has.

I changed the password on the time machine so she can't use it again.

She begged me to let her go back there.

I told her that her family is here.

She looked at me sadly and shook her head no.

Tuesday is Columbus Day, and she's furious about that.

How could we honor a man who exploited and enslaved her people.

I didn't have any answers for her.

She's probably right about Columbus.

I've asked her about Geronimo, but she won't talk about that.

She just smiles and gets this far away look in her eyes.

I haven't told my parents what happened.

They think my sister is just delusional.

I guess it's probably better that way.

The latest thing is my sister won't respond to her name.

She insists that I call her Mrs. Geronimo.

I said okay, but I doubt that I'll actually do it.

This is my own fault for building a time machine.

I should have built something more practical.

Like a car or an air conditioner or a toaster.

It's getting harder and harder to talk to my sister.

Sometimes she speaks Apache, and I can't understand her.

The only Apache word I know is -k'is.

It means brother.