David Choate

David Choate's life can be easily summarized: while men have always kept a safe distance him, women, on the other hand, quite literally—and inexplicably—roll over for the man.  In the past common courtesy compelled Choate to grant a number of these petitions.  Consequently, he can not today pass through an international airport without being heckled by harpies holding up kids.  This could explain Choate's current campaign for population control—which he inaugurates above with this odd notice to the future.