Two PoemsFishy Father’s grounded me for two weeks because I failed my lath math test. No, he says, I’m not grounding you because you failed the test —you’re grounded because you didn’t study. I’m not sure I know what the difference is, I tell him. Well, when you’ve figured that out, he says, then you’ll be a man. Then he leaves my bedroom and tromps down the stairs. A man? I’m only 10. It’s only long division, and all those remainders. I hate numbers, the way they add up even if you subtract or divide. 56 —that was my score. And the year I was born. Man, that’s cruel. That’s like something religious, God angry and acting more like Satan —there, I said it and might go to blazes for it but sometimes I think that Heaven has it in for me. Two weeks. No TV. No baseball. No comic books. No dessert. At supper I ask him to pass the bread. That’s exactly my point, he says, as he hands it to Mother first. She takes a roll. Then he hands it to me. Man does not live by bread alone, he says. Now do you see? I don’t but say I do. Well then, he says, explain it. I take a bite of bread to buy some time—I’m not allowed to chew with my mouth open. I’ll wait, Father says, until you’ve chewed thoroughly and swallowed. I do, then sip some milk. Well sir, I say, it’s like this: you’ve got to take nourishment for your soul. I look at Mother. She looks at Father. He looks at her. Then at me. Why yes, he says. Please pass the fish, I say. Certainly, he says. I hold the platter and close my eyes and raise my head toward Heaven, which is well above the ceiling. What are you doing, son, he asks. Praying, I say. For what, he asks. Praying for God to feed the multitude. Good Lord, he says. Scope I don’t want to go to Heaven when I die nor not to Hell neither, I want a third place to wind up dead in, of course there’s Earth where I am now and when I’m croaked I’ll be underground unless I have myself burnt up and then I’ll be all ashes, ashes to ashes and all that, also maybe smoke into the atmosphere, everyone will get to breathe a little of me for what that’s worth but as for my immortal soul, if I have one, at church and Sunday School they’re pretty damn sure I do, maybe it can go dwell somewhere new, not Heaven nor Hell nor even Earth where I dwell now, I guess I’m dwelling, can you dwell if you’re only ten years old? Grandmother once said that when she passes away she’ll go live or her soul will on another planet but I don’t think that’s in the Bible, not that I care a lot, I forgot to ask her where she got that, off TV or from a book, but it’s too late now, I look up to the moon and with binoculars try to see Mars and Venus and Jupiter and Saturn, of course there’s no sign of her there but maybe I need a telescope to confirm that Grandmother even though she’s dead is still all right and if she’s right then I’ll wake up dead on another world but it might not be hers, maybe all mine, and if I want to visit her I hope that I’ll know how to or she’ll know how to visit me but the last time she came for a vacation I thought she’d never leave. |
|
||||
Copyright © 1999 – 2024 Juked |
![]() |