Rampage

I’m happy now I believe that I’m happy now and yes I’m happy now

             I’ve got all that I want that I need that I want

                          I’ve got

             everything that I want when I need when I want a

                          peck on the lips hello a goodbye brush so light a

                          touch that might lie after 20 years logical calculated separation of love’s

                          measures as the years go by—

clutched on the bed on the floor on the couch

             by the skin by the sweat and the pant it’s too much it’s too deep inside

                          look at me deep inside

                                       put it deep inside and there inside

                                                    it won’t split like yolk from the white or the sound—

                                                                 it’s the sound

                                                    it’s every sound that he makes

                          it’s a high-pitched hum

             on my drums on the drum

             it’s the drum that I mind in my mind every rise every step every drop

             that escapes when it scrapes my skin it’s a three-pronged rake

             drawing blood mixing blood with the dishes stacked high

on Saturday night spitting blood piling high

and the bills piling high paper throats getting slit

spitting blood

spitting dues and their dates and these ticks off our lives while this garbage piles high

             and the bills and the plates where I swallow my diatribe

                                       like a fistful of Vicodin

                                       chased by a shot

                                       where we each take a shot it’s a shot—

but the doctor’s too rude

won’t make me happy no more

I’ll be happy with more when I hear the garage down

             at 9 am up

             and 6 pm down

             and it’s up and it’s down and it’s nine and it’s six

             and it’s nine and six-nine-six-nineninenineninewellbefine

and every time

             every goddamn time a peck on the lips when I’m barely touched

                          when the distance in sheets or in beds or in rooms spreads

                          to a hotel door

                          screaming he’s a good man he’s a real honest man he’s my hard working

                          man and I’m happy now I believe that I’m happy now

and there’s nothing more that I fucking want