Sex Stories and FoodAll my sex stories always start off with what we ate for dinner, and of course, I remember that fancy Dragon Roll in Phoenix, Arizona that lit up on my birthday, and no, I usually wouldn’t order something so Americanized, but the damn thing lit up, a fire-breathing dragon for a hungry Chinese girl at her birthday party, and if you want fun, always add a little fire, and my order’s usually fresh nigiri all the way, and I’ve watched videos on how the California Roll was invented, and it’s so Cali, so surf culture with its avocado right in the middle, and I think it’s sad that most versions don’t actually come with crab meat, and I think about images of women in the movies, letting their lovers eat sushi right off their bodies, and I wonder if I would ever pull such a stunt, and he tells me on the phone that he likes me in red lipstick, which is a relief, because most men are afraid of getting a little messy all over their cheeks and bodies, but think about how endearing it is in cartoons when Minnie is so excited to see Mickey that she gifts him red kiss marks all over his cheeks, and you’ve got to admit that everyone has a soft spot for that, and instead of sushi all over my body, I’d rather straight up feed my man some fatty tuna, wash it down with cold sake, spoil him a little, then take charge, then let him take charge, back and forth, and for a good time, call me, but I’m warning you: I’ll be talking about the food rather than the sex, because I’m such a tease, and yes, I’ve been called that term a million times, as if I owe anyone anything in this world, and I remember the 4 AM French fries after the midnight fishbowls full of Blue Curacao and assorted alcohols and plastic animal toys, and here’s a tiger, here’s a cow, here’s a dinosaur, meaning here’s my father represented in the Chinese Zodiac, ere’s a farm animal, and here’s prehistoric times, in one toy, and do you ever wonder what a prehistoric times restaurant would be like, because we already have Medieval Times, and who doesn’t love dinosaurs, and think about those large plates and plates of turkey legs or how about JELL-O eggs for dessert, and I love a little childlike whimsy, and I love saving hotel room keys for a little sentimental value, remembering those afternoons spent in a dreamboat’s arms, a couple of laughs, and I always laugh, remember the room number, what happened in the elevator on the way back, looking back, and it’s like when I collected Happy Meal toys as a kid, and as a kid, I loved the scene in The Phantom Tollbooth when the characters deliver speeches at dinner, listing their favorite foods, only to be served those exact foods, and I always think about what my lineup would be: lobster ravioli and Lobster Wellington and Peking Duck and of course, loaded desserts with lychee and longan and cherries and a couple slices of grapefruit cake with grapefruit drizzle and poached pears and peaches, and I told you that I’d rather talk about the food than the sex, and let’s go around the subject, because I’m a tease. I’m a tease. I’m a tease. |
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