favorite ghost

there’s this scene of me using my cell phone

as a flashlight biking homeward and wishing

you were a little lost in the woods next to

me. there’s this scene of me standing on the

steel trail bridge over the connecticut

picturing us spitting off it into the darkness

and then kissing each other in the darkness.

there’s this scene where i keep putting token

after token into the tetris machine despite

how many times i have already lost. in this

scene i have unlimited tokens and other

people want to play but i won’t let them until

everything is right. they just watch in the

glow. my high score doesn’t even feel real

and maybe it isn’t but it’s the highest and it’s

mine. i spell out BOO as my initials because

i am the ghost of the arcade and also the

ghost of everything. when i am home i am

eating like i am manic or stressed but i am

not. i am calm as a butterfly being dead and

all. there’s this scene of me grasping my

own breast in the shower. me picturing

myself dressing you and then you dressing

me. a scene of us cosplaying as each other in

public holding hands. i think we will both be

each other’s favorite ghost. there’s this scene

of me loud-sighing over the trashcan

dripping wet from the shower or from a

rainstorm i can’t remember. if unlimited

tokens is what it takes to get all the shapes

in the right place then that’s what i want. we

will keep trying even when we lose. all i ask

is for some time with the music. you’re

afraid that if i take time then time will take

me. i understand but the machine is still on.

even as a ghost from across the room i stand

in its glow.

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