The Rope

by Glenn Shaheen

Wouldn’t you agree it’s a little too easy to say America is a carcinogen? Are hang glider lessons too expensive? Have you ever had your heart broken in a highly cinematic manner? That is, was a long lost brother involved in some way, or a movie star? If the latter, would they be willing to star in the filmed version as themselves? Do you find it tacky to admire women who shave their pubic hair into complex geometrical shapes? This isn’t the era of free love anymore, you know. In your opinion, is somebody debonair just for wearing any hat on which a pot leaf does not appear? Is the jealous boyfriend on the news guilty of tossing his girlfriend’s lifeless body into the dumpster as he readily admitted? Do you find a sincere satisfaction in eating the flesh of former living things? Don’t take any of this to be judgmental. Can you believe in true anonymity? In this age or any previous age? How often do you think of those younger than yourself who have died today, for what they believed or for universal order? Is there such a thing as universal order? How many banned books do you own? How many books do you think should be banned in the near future? Are you now or have you ever been a member of a rock musician’s fan club? Please consider rap in the same category as rock. When was the last time you kissed someone? When was the last time you slept in the same bed as someone? When was the last time you had an Orange Julius? When was the last time you told somebody you loved them and meant it? When was the last time you prayed before bed? When was the last time your life flashed before your eyes in a very cinematic manner? When was the last time you considered revenge a viable option in some plot as it pressed down on you and stopped you from sleep? Your friends were all conspiring against you, you know. When was the last time you called home? When was the last time you considered the place in which you sleep your home? When was the last time you left a banana peel on your desk and it turned black over time? How many numbers are stored in your phone? How many of them do you use? Do you have an escape route? Do you regularly perform emergency fire drills? Flood drills? Nuclear attack drills? Terrorist drills? Heartbreak drills? Biological warfare? Airborne virus? Draft reinstatement? Hopelessness? Video game console breakdown? Earthquake? Murderer? Roving street gangs? Flesh-eating zombies? Jehovah’s Witnesses? The phone ringing? The answering machine picking up? A knock at the door? A voice by your bed? Your name called in the dark?