In the Award-Winning Movie in My Head, We Are Infinitely Better Looking and Everything Makes SenseIf it begins with distance, distance is bridged. Let's say a landscape with deer running close together, their movement the sped-up avalanche of leaning forward towards someone I want to kiss. In the movie, I'm sure that I do. If no one likes this setting, it can be changed to the shuffle of a deck of steel standing end on end; what we call buildings. The windows in winter sun glint bitterly in downtown Manhattan where, each morning, commerce puts on her innocuous clothes. It is perhaps unfeminist of me to call capitalism a woman because now I've implied whore. If I sound furious I probably am. Aren't we all just a little bit tired of walking around unlovely, below billboards that vulture the streets. In them everyone is flat and so easy to read. I am sick of being clandestine. I will put it on the table, see— not like a spread of cards which could indicate potential cheating, but an unfurling like a magician's scarf from a hat. I want that flourish: what I mean to say pulled forth like that. Shouldn't communication be simpler—just jump-cut childhood and montage the rest? But don't I so often think that understanding equals reading all the books on someone else's shelves or that I can braille the fingering of chosen songs and parlay an echoed movement into seeing what's behind the skull? And just as often I might say, "World, take my keys. Here's an address and a time to meet me. Rummage through possessions. If you are sleepy, use my bed." Let it be enough. Can't any of us project without talking? Turn off the lights and unspool film through whatever tiny hatch, that opening where a small light and a dark room do the rest. |
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