Ruiner

I have such masterful strokes of ruin

you shouldn't come near me with that camera.

You shouldn't come near me with those years of photography

your children will use to remember when you're gone.

I have receipts all over my desk for the money I spent

to mail letters across the country.

There's enough room in my freezer to store my upper body

and probably my legs.

In the apartment I lived in before this one,

the TV would often turn itself off and on.

Tonight it's quiet.

Tonight was Halloween.

It was cold enough to wear a sweater but I didn't.

I wore the same shirt I wear once every three days.

I haven't loved a holiday since I was fourteen.

I can cripple a fine intention with one flick of my dumb tongue.

I'd like to wallpaper my room with transcribed telephone conversations

on days I felt my arms go soft.

Those women in the supermarket who offer free samples

have homes where at night they sleep.

Where do all the other people go?

I might shave my head tomorrow.

There's always somewhere else to visit.

There's always someone in the hall.

Next year I'll dress up as myself gestating in my mother.

The year after that I'll dress up as something made of light.