[The sign above the toppings read]

by Ben Kopel

The sign above the toppings read NO JOKES PLEASE
but the poet decided to push his luck and tell her how only

a certain kind of girl could inspire a man to wear a six-pound
beard of bees just to win a peek at her golden heart.  No one laughs,

not even the girl.  She spent most of her time with painters.
"Eddie, have you ever painted a picture?"  He tried to once,

but all thirty-two firemen in his self portrait kept drowning.
She thought that was the saddest thing she ever heard

and he reassured her that, deep down, there was a busy monster
he kept and called a kind heart.