A Look at Our Dangerous Friend

by Christopher Citro

Gasoline is kind of clear green, and if you smell it too long
you'll grow a tumor.  Some people put it in a bag and inhale
the concentrated fumes.  It makes them feel a feeling that is
commonly described as 'high'.  They feel like they have an
industrial rock band in their head.  They get to experience
loops of time, slow motion, stop action and ugly girls
willing to let their underpants be removed.  It also gives
them holes in their lungs and permanent stupidity after a
while.  Gasoline is the volatile, lighter part of petroleum.  It
comes from the ground where it was formed over
thousands of years from old dinosaurs, huge dragonflies
and trees so tall they'd make someone looking at them feel
a feeling that is commonly described as 'wonder'.  As
liquids on the planet go, it's quite an important one.
Economically, it's one of the main ways we power our
world these days.  It wasn't always this way, though.  We
used to use charcoal and whale oil.  Farmers used to
complain when petroleum seeped from the ground into
their crops.  It's touching to imagine how innocent we all
were.  It's awe-inspiring to imagine how huge those ancient
trees must really have been.