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i see million dollar baby, starring clint eastwood, with my mom
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by Tao Lin |
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i say, why are they playing evil music for the boxer who isn't hilary swank
my mom says, clint eastwood is in great shape, look at him, he's more
than ten years older than your dad
in the parking lot i say, why was the young black boxer so evil, i hate that
my mom says, clint eastwood had two needles, remember, i bet one was
for himself, and she laughs a little and she looks at me and i look at
her and then i laugh a little too
on the way home i am driving and i make this very wide turn through
this massive intersection, and i am driving very fast and a little out
of control and while i am making this insane turn, sideswiping across
three or four lanes, i look at my mom and i grin at her really big and
her face looks a little blank and i feel really happy and really sad
at the same time
the next night, i am eating pineapple chunks when my mom appears
suddenly beside me with her living will
she has the pages of her living will folded back and she points out on
her living will where it says that she does not want to be put on a
respirator or a feeding tube or whatever artificial life thing if it
ever comes to that
she points out the exact sentence where it says all that and tells me
to look and i look and i see that it has her signature there and she
pats me on my back and scurries away and goes to sleep because she is
in her pajamas and it is very late
i finish eating my pineapple chunks and then i drink a glass of orange
juice, and then i eat two bananas, a huge thing of grapes, a small
container of blueberries, an apple, a banana, and a gigantic bowl of
noodles with vegetables in it and an egg 
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