i see million dollar baby, starring clint eastwood, with my mom



i say, why are they playing evil music for the boxer who isn't hilary swank

my mom says, clint eastwood is in great shape, look at him, he's more than ten years older than your dad

in the parking lot i say, why was the young black boxer so evil, i hate that

my mom says, clint eastwood had two needles, remember, i bet one was for himself, and she laughs a little and she looks at me and i look at her and then i laugh a little too

on the way home i am driving and i make this very wide turn through this massive intersection, and i am driving very fast and a little out of control and while i am making this insane turn, sideswiping across three or four lanes, i look at my mom and i grin at her really big and her face looks a little blank and i feel really happy and really sad at the same time

the next night, i am eating pineapple chunks when my mom appears suddenly beside me with her living will

she has the pages of her living will folded back and she points out on her living will where it says that she does not want to be put on a respirator or a feeding tube or whatever artificial life thing if it ever comes to that

she points out the exact sentence where it says all that and tells me to look and i look and i see that it has her signature there and she pats me on my back and scurries away and goes to sleep because she is in her pajamas and it is very late

i finish eating my pineapple chunks and then i drink a glass of orange juice, and then i eat two bananas, a huge thing of grapes, a small container of blueberries, an apple, a banana, and a gigantic bowl of noodles with vegetables in it and an egg  
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