Things I Wanted to Do TodayI wanted to join a water polo club. I wanted to buy a white T-shirt. I wanted to walk around for one hour staring amiably at people’s faces as they passed by on the streets and sidewalks. I wanted to say hi to strangers and smile big at them until they smiled back. I wanted to let my appetite go and go and then when I felt hollow and good I wanted to buy a corn muffin and a coffee and a soup and sit in the park on a bench and take my time eating and feeling the sun on my arms. I wanted to get in touch with old friends. I wanted to take the initiative and make plans for as many Fridays and Saturdays and Sundays as possible for the rest of my life. I wanted to buy a small vacuum cleaner and a small fold-up desk and I wanted to put the vacuum cleaner on the desk and then carry the desk on my head down the street towards my apartment. I wanted to run into a friend sitting on a stoop to my right. I wanted to stand there listening to what they’ve been up to and then when they asked if I was uncomfortable standing there with the desk and vacuum cleaner on my head, I wanted to say something to indicate that I was, but that it was worth it to listen to them tell me about what has been going on in their life. I wanted to offer to vacuum their house. I wanted the friend to be someone I knew in fourth grade who said she liked me. I wanted to go in there and vacuum her house and then when she offered me lemonade, I wanted to compliment her hair and maybe her teeth. I wanted to keep on complimenting her until she was giggling and sitting at one end of her large couch and touching her hair and glancing up at me, all the while giggling. I wanted to set up the desk in the middle of her living room and put the vacuum cleaner on top of it and then stand arms akimbo and say, well there then. I wanted to sit on the other end of her large couch and ask her from across the length of the room what she was doing on Friday. I wanted the TV to be off but the fan to be wooden and on and making a faint sandy noise like a quiet beach. I wanted her to crawl over her couch towards me. I wanted to stand up while she was crawling towards me and then vacuum her couch. I wanted to vacuum her hair. I wanted to say, can I try something to you? I wanted us to take turns doing new and interesting things with the vacuum cleaner. I wanted us, at one point, to be standing on the desk together trying to gain control of the vacuum cleaner from the other. I wanted her to go into to the kitchen and then come back in the living room with a steak knife and I wanted her to chase me around with it. I wanted to leave her house when the sun was big and red and the sky was orange and whipped like a peach smoothie. I wanted to see a three-year-old boy with black hair and blue eyes playing with a small white dog on the way home. I wanted to shower with hot water and then cold water and then walk around naked. I wanted to do one hundred jumping jacks to build my stamina. I wanted to cut up a papaya and eat it. I wanted to package some of my books and send one to my mom, one to my brother, one to a friend. I wanted to do nice things for everyone I’ve ever knew. I wanted to lie on my bed and put my ear on the pillow. I wanted a mysterious noise outside to wake me up. I wanted the window to be open and a light breeze coming in and I wanted it to be dark outside and cool in the room when the mysterious noise woke me up. I wanted to feel sleepy and happy and comfortable. I wanted to fall back asleep wondering what the mysterious noise was that woke me up.  |
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